This offseason has done such incredible things for Jonathan Toews: he’s got a golden tan going, his biceps are the size of melons, and I could take him to the riverside and use his abs to wash my laundry.
Posting mostly for my own reference because I’ve not come across it before, but also I feel like fandom doesn’t fully utilise the fact Kaner uses ‘showtime’ in actual sentences too.
Yes, okay, but where are all the verses where he’s some famous fashion designer, and nobody can quite believe it because his own outfits are always atrocious.
Him and Jonny probably meet in a bar, hook up, and when Jonny asks what Kaner does for a living, Kaner tells him — he’s a fashion designer. Jonny snorts, but whatever, it’s just a hook up, he’ll let the guy have his dream. And then a month later, oh, that’s Kaner, aka, Patrick Kane, aka, official Blackhawks Uniform Design Head, taking measurements and discussing color flow patterns in the main office with Stan Bowman, and Jonny’s really not sure how to react to that, other than a lot of blinking.
HE SAYS SHOWTIME THREE TIMES IN THIS INTERVIEW, I AM FURIOUS
Tazer and his pecks greeting fans on Wednesday August 27th.
He must really like those salmon shorts.
‘You’re putting me on the spot here, I knew this was coming’ - Jonathan Toews is asked to show his model face on Off the Record.
So8/29/14: “So, Jonathan - is it fair to say that the whole ‘Captain Serious’ thing, that you really don’t love it? [X]
8/24/14: Jonathan Toews challenges and assists Clearwater Bay Elvis with ALS ice bucket challenge [X]